Saturday, May 30, 2009
Pretty much all of my friends locally, that is, know what's going on with me so I haven't worried too much about things like this. While I'm trying to get back on my feet I've received many notices such as Project Wonderful's robot warning.
I hate being sick - but this time it's been worse on my psyche more than my body. While I'm in constant pain, I manage, kind of. But the fact that it's affecting my behavior so much is disabling. I can't write anyone back, follow through on anything, I've totally left the dishes to everyone else. I reached out a couple of weeks ago to tell my friends from my book project that I was sick but hoping to get back to 'normal' soon and continue on with the book, but I've been unable to answer any of their emails :( I'm very frustrated and depressed, but still I remain optimistic.
Since I had an attack of sciatica in January, which still continues with my left foot slowly going numb from my arch up my leg, I've been on several answer-seeking journeys to the doctors. Finally last month I was told I have MS. Now, like I've said, I'm not sure right now what that means for me, I have a doctor appointment the 30th of June and hopefully will get better answers. In the meantime, here I remain.
My second oldest son is graduating from HS this morning and I'm not ready - totally depressed(feels like an elephant's on my chest), and don't want to endure the pain of having to take a shower.... sigh
It will get better, I'm sure it will. But I haven't written in so long - think about it often - but just haven't been able to. Getting this second notice from Project Wonderful prompted me I guess into finally writing and letting everyone know what's going on.
To all of the faithful followers and supporters of this blog, I treasure you and hope that you'll stick it out with me - I know it's gotta get better! But I will do my best to get to the writing as I'm able.
You're very important to me - we may be strangers for the most part, but gosh you've been through so much with me! and I consider you all friends.
I will be back soon - thanks for being there :)