The Kitchen Sink  

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Well I finally got to see Dr. 90210 (you remember, I mentioned in on the BlockHead talk radio program last Monday night?) and am just delighted that they are going to work through their problems! See, divorce, not always the answer!! =D
I was thinking about my oldest being gone in college and I realized that that is what has me down lately. Everything, except for financially (you know about that too, eh?!), is going really well right now - but I'm overwhelmed by a very dark shadow anyway!?
But I realize now that, even though he's not far away and comes home often, not having Ryan here has been like having a death in the family! He's not here and I cannot talk to him when I want, hold him when I need a hug, or be subject to his long heavy legs lying on my lap while we watch a movie. I have told myself many times to put it out of my mind, and I've lost many that I loved and remember telling myself the same thing during those times. It was a cold and lonely air of recognition; my old 'friend', grief, that washed over me at that moment.

So how do I change it? I still have Tyler and Austin here, and they are still very dependent on me, so why this hole in my soul?? and how do I fix it so I can get back to my old self and be there for my other two boys as well as my husband, friends, and clients?? Something I guess I'll have to try to put some extra effort into to change...
Roger got to work with Jim today and said it was the best day the two have had in a long while. Jim was cheerful, fun, and a pleasure to be around. All that said, as soon as their work was done, Jim was flying down the road to see Mary.
I haven't heard from him yet tonight, but I sure hope it will be a good visit for them!
I got to tell him this afternoon, before they quit work, about all of your well wishes and prayers and I'm quite touched by the tears that welled up in his eyes. He really is a sweet person and I know that he would be amazed at all of the emails, comments, and convos I've received for him! I intend to print them all out for him to see =D and I'll let you know what he says!
Well, in between all of the homey interruptions, it's only taken me 3 hours to get this written!lol So I will close with a fond adieu' for now and send wishes of peace and happiness your way - until next time;

for "stopping by the shop!"

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1 comments: to “ The Kitchen Sink

  • Pamela
    November 6, 2008 at 1:22 PM  

    I understand entirely, my baby left for college 2 years ago, I miss him still so much, it has left a hole in my heart. It will get better in time, the first few months were the worst...

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