Love & Cherish  

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I have been trying hard today to get it together - just haven't felt like much of anything at all! I even went out and planed a board for a project thinking maybe I just needed to get something going and I'd be alright. {sigh} Nothing's working - I know I'm getting LittleMan's strep - when I was in my teens I came down with it every 6 months like clockwork and I don't take being sick well - for me, it's a weakness that I can't allow myself :( Besides that, what mother is truly every allowed to get sick!?!? Laying in bed all day, getting waited on!?! hah! like that would happen!!lol

ANYWAY, I just heard from a friend of ours and I had to relay my happiness and a story of true love - the kind you don't see anymore.

My hubby works for a man named Jim. His wife, MaryLou, is a stoic, and stern woman of Native American descent, whom I've never had the courage to try and get to know. I have waved at her here and there, but never 'officially' met her.

I made her a NFL Steeler's Helmet a while back as Jim said that was her favorite team, and he gave it to her as a present from me - and even though she said she didn't know what she's "...going to do with that...", Jim said he's caught her on occasion "petting" it (everything I make is extremely silky to touch - my trademark of sorts) along with other things I've made them - lots of eagles! - but will put it down the minute he comes into the room!lol I think that's cute :) It was great that Jim told me this, as I worry unless I know the recipient likes what I've made them!lol

But anyway, she had a stroke many years ago that's left her unable to smile really, or talk clearly, or be out of a wheelchair and my husband is often called to look in on her. Every time they are out working on a job somewhere, Jim calls Mary 20 times or more a day to check on her - or takes her with him if he's going to be gone long. Every once in a while she'll knock the phone off the receiver or fall out of her chair and he freaks out until he can get home to see if she's okay. I couldn't understand their relationship though, as my hubby will tell me, " She wanted a big screen t.v. and Jim went and bought her a 70" t.v. and she doesn't like it" or before she'd had her stroke, things like, "He bought her this really fancy car that cost an arm and a leg and she hated it - it's sat in the garage ever since"... things like that. So maybe you can see why I am in awe of this relationship - Jim is one of those guys that you just don't find anywhere - and she's supposedly cheated on him and everything else during their many years together(according to her son) and treats him like crap. There's got to be more to it than that though, I tell myself. There's nobody that good - that loving - that unselfish...! I don't know if I'll ever know for sure?
Anyway, the other month she had another stroke. She's been in and out of surgery, in and out of a coma, on death's door for over a month and a half. Jim's been there, every minute, by her side - grieving and crying over her. I don't think he's even eaten more than a sandwich a week. He and Roger went to work one day and they made it half a day and then Jim was off, driving the 40+ miles to be by her side. He almost went crazy trying to get out of that job! I've talked to him on several occasions during this and am just floored by the fact that if something happens to her, he's gone - there's no doubt in my mind! So I pray for her, for him. They let him go into ICU for 20 minutes of every hour, and he's not missed one except the day he tried to work. The doctors have told him to go home, "she doesn't know you're here" and I'm sure he is exhausted! But he stays. Today, he made me cry.

He says he went in her room and went towards the bed to be by her and she reached up and grabbed his shirt, pulled him down and hugged him, patted his back and said, "maybe just 5 more minutes..." He called crying, she's not spoke this whole time - she even had to have a trac put in last week cuz she couldn't breath. But she still managed to speak to him through all of this today and I'm beside myself in joy. I don't even know the woman, but I am sitting here bawling like a baby on the phone with him!?! I love this man and what he is to her - it's so uplifting in such a dismal world! Even today I heard that two people I never thought would be apart after over 25 years are going their separate ways! I hate divorce, it's too easy! I'm with a man 20 years my senior, who doesn't offer me much - but we are together, and we have a miracle of a child - God wants us to be together - I don't know why, but He does! I've thought many times of escape over the years - regret filling every pore of my being, but I toughed it out and will until 'death do us part' - Divorce should NOT be easy!! We are friends now, but if I had let my emotions rule me then I would have missed out on a lot! Be patient with each other, be kind. Life's too short! I'm hoping that Mary truly will be 'on the mend' but I can't help thinking that the old adage, "a bulb burns brightest before it goes out" and how this might apply to Mary. She's in such bad shape, but I will never try to out-guess what God might have in store for any of us and she just might pull through it!?
Do you have what it takes to be this loving, faithful, and devoted - do I? I don't know, but I think I have met someone who does!

for "stopping by the shop!"

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3 comments: to “ Love & Cherish

  • Tammy's Treasure Chest
    November 4, 2008 at 7:34 PM  

    What a beautiful and touching thing. You almost made ME cry, and I don't know either of them.
    Love is hard. My husband and I have been married 10 tough years. I'm 11 years older than him. I've kicked him out 2 times in the past, and we got back together. Now I'm just resigned to the way things are and we're toughing it out. I've been divorced twice and I really don't want to do it again!
    It's nice to know that true love really does exist.

  • ~~Sew Happy Designs~~
    November 5, 2008 at 9:47 AM  

    I loved your story and cried for the love this man has. I have been married to my best friend for 38 years, but not without heartache, but also passion and joy. We married with the children grown and off we are closer than we have ever been. I can understand his devotion and love. All will turn out as God has planned...but in the end LOVE will win. I will pray for them.

  • BINA
    November 5, 2008 at 5:36 PM  

    jim sounds like a dear dear man ... and ur right he's probably so devoted to her that if anything does happen, he'll just be beside himself. thank u for sharing this story...

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