Deer Mountain Wood Art

Okay, so most of you that follow "Shop Notes" - thank you! =D - have watched my absurd struggle with Life this year with mixed emotions. Whether it be a curious, can't-look-away, interest as one might show a highway accident, or felt the kinship of sadness in the losses that seemed so much a part of this year, or even hope, in that all would turn out okay eventually, I have felt a strange bond with everyone that has happened along. Somehow, the journey seems less lonely and the outcome more optimistic, when you have someone to travel with you. The internet has afforded me many kindnesses in the friendships formed and in even the strangers that offered their quiet presence, to the newfound opportunities that sit on the horizon ready to greet the dawn of 2009. I'm very grateful to find this new outlet to a rather quiet, solitary existence.

I can say one thing for sure though, without the Internet and my new friends, I probably would've hidden in my bed through most of it!

This year was nothing though in comparison to 2006, when I lost my sister. That was and still is something I will never get used to, and in most ways, have yet to accept. Since she lived far away and we had fallen away from each other through my stupidity and stubbornness, it's easier to think she's still there and I'm still trying to figure out how to apologize and get us back on track... It's probably not normal, but it's the only coping mechanism I have for such pain.
Anyway, back to the subject at hand...
2007 was crap, 2006 was crappier, but 2008 was just confusing, hectic, sad, and well, absurd! I found out a lot about myself; I'm not as wonderful a person as I want to be, I procrastinate to disaster, I've become a very lazy mother, I blame most bad things on something else besides the fact that I did it, I sell myself short a lot, and I'm not a good friend. The actual 'list' is many pages long, but I'm trying to focus on something more obtainable and less 'all over the place'. All things that, by this time next year, I hope I can say the opposite of!

So how do I start remolding myself? Have you ever asked that? Where in the he** does one start on such a mess of a blob of cells?!?

Well, here's my plan;

1. Stop criticizing myself and focus on the good points - hard, yet do-able, I hear! :)
2. Tear up the sign I made in 1986, "Don't do today what you can put off until tomorrow" - really, I did print and hang that stupid thing!lol
3. Focus, focus, focus - get rid of mile-long lists and start working on the workable. Don't get distracted by all of the wonders of the internet. Work on things that can be done, don't try to perfect everything, and don't worry about being perfect myself!
4. Shoot for realistic goals - only look at what I can actually achieve and don't run into blaming others for my failures or shortcomings.
5. Schedules do work, if they're realistic - but be flexible so I don't have a stroke!
6. ASK others for help or advice - I'm not a superhero or a 'one-woman-show'! Right now I'm like a guy that can't ask driving directions; fixated on being able to 'do it myself' - this makes life so much more difficult than it has to be! Find out what others have done to work things out and realize that I'm not alone!
7. Prioritize - this is one of the things that cause me to lose focus; I'm putting all the wrong things at the top of my lists! I've completely moved my family and friends to the bottom and then off the list... wrong, wrong, wrong!
8. Establish some "me time" - I'm not even in the same notepad as my priorities! I rarely take time to even eat properly(if at all!) because I have "so much to do"!
9. The Big One; balance - Balance work, life, home, and business. Home life(family) should have 50% at least on the scale of time used, Business/Work should be a 35%, and Internet Misc, a nice 15%.... that's how I'm going to split it up for now and see how it works :)
10. Everything is adjustable - there's nothing set in stone in Life. Don't panic if I missed a lunch date or didn't get the front room cleaned up on the day I planned - I've been so hard on myself and all that has resulted from that is the feeling of failure, disappointment, and self-doubt and yes, loathing! That's pretty harsh, but there's no other word to describe the self-digust I feel when I screw up all over the place, or don't meet a deadline because I've procrastinated!
11. Enjoy life! period. Too short is what I've learned these last few years - I could go tomorrow and what would I see when I look back at my life? I want it to be a good reflection! If all you have is regret, remorse, guilt, and the feeling that you could have done so much more, or done It so much better, then you have failed the game "Life"! I've always preached to my children to make sure they can live without regret, yet it's all I can look back on for myself. Physician, Heal Thyself!
    
12. Be Thankful! For what you have, don't have, will have. Be Thankful that you have the chance to 'make it right'. Be Thankful that you have this one life to do amazing things and be an asset to yourself, your family, your friends, and the world at large!

So here's to the new year - 2009! - a year full of hope,
promise, and a chance to "do it right!" Now, I know we've all said that before, maybe we say it every year? But for some reason, unknown to me right now, it feels different this time - something new is in the air!?

I am so happy tonight =D Xmas is done and I squeaked by another year!lol I honestly did not get to do any shopping until last night and, man, it was hectic and frustrating, yet, I pulled it off again and all my little men are happy campers tonight! Whew!! Thank goodness I received a check yesterday and it all just fell into place!
I managed, just barely, to finish up the last two of the local orders I had out there and got them delivered and then, off to town with Austin (we had a "date"!).
I found out, once more, that that little guy has a LOT on his mind!lol I was certain that he would sleep on the long trip home, as I'm sure he was just exhausted from all the fun we had!, but no, he found the strength to carry on and keep me working on answers to his many questions and ideas! =D
He's such a great guy, and I was so proud of him as he struggled to maintain the fact that he was shopping for others, not himself, and I knew there was so much he saw that he wanted!! What a wonderful little trip - we even got to have a nice lunch at his favorite restaurant, "Big Daddy's" and he was so gentlemanly as he reached his little hand out to mine to help me out of the car and how he insisted on sitting next to me in the booth, instead of across from me! It was fun getting him to myself for this special occasion =D
We got home rather late, and I was so tired. The older boys started working on the ready-to-cook pizzas I'd brought home and Tyler and I plotted how we would get everything wrapped and still grab a few hours of sleep before Santa's bounty would be discovered - I think I did manage a few hours, but I was ready when morning came.
Austin did have a slight melt-down this morning as everyone put off the unwrapping for a hot cup of coffee and wake up time! I told him just a few minutes and it ended up more like 30 and you can bet he was beside himself when we finally got to it!lol Poor guy!
It's really funny, but I've always maintained that clothes were not something you get for Xmas because they're a necessity and as such it's something one has to get their children all year - but being broke and needing this type of thing, I broke down and purchased a few articles of much needed threads - they were very happy with what I gave them and Austin wore his new warmly-lined hoodie all day! Yay! I guess there's always a first time for everything!?!
I think we all made out like bandits though and I feel very blessed that I'm loved so much that my babies would work so hard to spend their own money on me and actually desire to see my happy face more than their own! It's very special to see them grow up and find out how they will handle such things - I couldn't be prouder =D
It seemed that everything everyone got was just what they needed, nothing more, nothing less - so well ends another Holiday and I'm glad it went well...
So, mostly I just want to wish you all a peaceful Xmas night and that you stay safe and warm for New Years =D Let's start 2009 off right!!
{{{hugs}}} and much love to all of my friends and family :)
Freida

After much thought on how exactly you do such a thing, we HAVE A WINNER!! Tammy of "Tammy's Treasure Chest" has won this beautiful ornament and I'm very excited to make it just for you, Tammy!
Tammy had 12 comments for the time period, which I believe helped to give her the winning edge =D
Thank you all so much for all of the comments, well wishes, and friendship - the internet is such an amazing place!

{{{hugs}}} and

Thanks for "stopping by the shop!"
Freida

Results - Research Randomizer

Finally! Things are beginning to feel normal tonight :) I have had a weekend from - well, can't say "Hell" 'cuz it's been below zero up here the last few days! lol - but I'm going to be positive, right?!? So, here are the positives;

• Saturday was the craft show; hummm - I met other artisans, which is wonderful, but it was very tiring - constructive, but tiring...
• Came home and Austin had crashed my laptop - the one with all of my life on it!!! :( Yikes! I learned so much from that experience though - the part where my computer-genius son couldn't fix the poor thing - and it turned out I wasn't as computer illiterate as I had previously thought, was an invaluable lesson!lol
• I learned that using your virus scan software is useless unless you go through their steps to fix the problem; after going around the long way to download the new definitions, everything just reappeared like magic! It was incredible!! Needless to say, I have restore points and backups now!lol
• I was almost done with the face mask for Kay's Bronco Helmet when I found out that my pattern had printed out too large - so much for hours of sanding! lol But I learned to use my rulers and my analytical mind =D oh, and take notes when I create a pattern!!!
  
• I found out my scale isn't working anymore and learned how to weigh packages against jars of jelly, bags of sugar, and tins of raviollis! :)
  
• I learned that 'house-trained' puppies still pee and poop on floors when you least expect it and that socks don't absorb liquid very well :(?
• I found out that I'm a creature of habit and when someone messes with my habitat my mind ceases to function!?! (see next bullet) lol
  
• We put the woodstove back so I could get my office space back together - Wow! you can't even imagine the mess that created for me in my mind! I was actually being forced to watch t.v. because of having my laptop in the front room! ugh! That was tough! Especially when Roger had to watch hunting - which is 24/7 pretty much :(
• oh, and I found out that I'm attractive to the same sex!?! teehee Now, that was a weird experience!!!!! lol
• and lastly, I found out if I read too long I fall asleep :( I'm an avid reader, so that's a problem!!

See I told ya, it was a very educational weekend! =D
I also sold a couple of things online as well as at the craft show, so we were able to stock up on a couple of items - yay! =D

Now, as you may or may not know, the last day for posting a comment to be entered into the special ornament drawing is today - until midnite my time(mountain time) you can still post comments and get a chance to win this gorgeous ornament! So get to it! lol
Looking forward to seeing who gets it =D
Until then,
Thanks for "stopping by the shop!" Freida

Well, it's sure been a week - everything happens around here at the same time.
I was helping Jim Monday with arrangements for Mary, which seemed somewhat easier being on this side this time. Jim did well, and I was proud of him. The funeral director lady was a little too pragmatic for me, but I tried to keep Jim busy through her mantra about bodies and dates of arrivals etc... it was weird.
When we went back to Jim's he showed us a book that Mary had written in 1989; Hortense and Gertrude. I have heard that title before and found myself quite intrigued to find out she had several more volumes of children's stories she'd written. He might let me publish them and I'm easily thrilled by the idea of carrying on her legacy! :) I wish I could do something about her home - the walls are covered in beautiful eagles she's painted and little kitschy stuff everywhere - very eclectic but warm and homey - a style that is very close to the very core of me! What a creative and talented soul she was!! Maybe something good will come of all of this?
I had planned the next day to go see Denita. It started snowing but I found myself still happy about the journey to see my friend. I realized that she may not even know I was there, but still I would be by her side for a little while.
It continued to get colder and the snow deeper, but whatever - I can usually do what I put my mind to, so what's a little snow!?
The next morning I awoke to around 9" of fresh frozen snow - the wind was picking up and I was beginning to seriously wonder about my decision. I heard the phone ring, but I was rushing around getting orders ready to post, so I didn't realize that anything important was going on until Roger's words stopped me in my tracks, "Denita died last night". He was so monotone that I thought I may have misunderstood so I kept standing there waiting for him to clarify his statement. I hadn't heard wrong though. sigh... He had told Vivian that I was out working and would call her later. I guess he was hoping that by his telling me that it would be easier to take. In a way it may have appeared so, but in truth it just made it seem more surreal. I didn't cry really, and haven't until tonight.
We had a Christmas concert to go to tonight - running down the mountain on icy winding roads is enough to keep me distracted from the dreaded dark of night! When we got to the concert though and all of the unknown faces greeted me, the reality of this loss kind of hit me right between the eyes. After all of these years I didn't see more than 3 or 4 people, besides teachers and faculty, that I actually recognized?
It's not like Denita would've been there - her kids graduated with mine pretty much - but it dawned on me that all of the people that made this a community for me in the past were gone. Whether they've died, moved on, or just had kids that grew out of the school doesn't really matter, they're gone just the same. Blah, what a crappy feeling - I need to find my smile tonite. My face feels like I've had a bad dose of Botox! :(
Anyway, Kay kind of brought everything in perspective the other day when she said to not feel bad for her, we're the ones that are left to feel the loss and she won't be in pain anymore. I could tell that that was how she really felt and wasn't just trying to cheer me up. She was so silly about it all that it just really made me look at death in a whole different way - I sure do love that woman! :]
So with that, even though even the local doggies seem to be passing away from obscure diseases and I have only a handful of friends left, I vow to carry on - no more dark posts, no more will the stale pall of death and loss overshadow me! I will do as Kay has bid; live with everything you have, enjoy every moment, and pass from this world knowing you've left something behind that's worthy of remembering you by!
Done and done - now, I'm going to go be with my babies and new puppy and breathe in the air that carries the hope that only holidays like Christmas can give - life doesn't stand still for anyone, and it is our choice what we do with what we have....
Blessings,
Freida

Sent to me by my big sister today - how appropriate! I love this and hope you'll pass it on, link to it, share it, say it was your idea, whatever - just get this out if you find it useful =D

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession :

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year.. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a crèche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham 's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina ) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem ( Dr Spock 's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves..

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace. Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it. no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein

Thanks for "stopping by the shop!"
Freida

First off, I want to acknowledge again, all those that sent prayers and well wishes for Jim and Mary - it won't be forgotten and I can never say how much it meant to me personally. I've been putting off this post because I know I'm going to cry, but I thought since I am already, I might as well get this done.
Mary's gone. 5:19pm - they removed her ventilator and she only survived for 3 minutes. It was peaceful, but oh, so sad. Jim is okay, he's strange right now - but I recognize that strangeness, been there, done that. When my husband passed, I'm sure they thought they'd have to hospitalize me, but I made it. Even though it's been 16 yrs, I still think of him every day and I'm sure that Jim will do so as well - it just never goes away, it gets milder, but never forgotten...
Tomorrow I'm going with him to help with funeral arrangements. It's been so long that I'm not sure I remember what needs to be done - I was a mess and probably couldn't remember much anyway, but I'm hoping I can help him.
Roger has been by his side for most of the time - he went up to see Mary the day before. When he joked with her, as he used to always, about dancing(she was wheelchair ridden since her stroke) and that she needed to get up, her blood pressure actually went way up! She also moved her hand in his, so we know she knew that he was there and it sure did make Jim's face light up. I know when they shut off the vent that he was straining trying to will her to survive, but it just wasn't meant to be.
He's been trying to accept it and throw himself into the logical side of preparing the funeral arrangements and notifying everyone, but Roger finally took over that part as you could see the strain in his eyes from the pain of it all. Her kids that live close wouldn't come up to see her, and even the one daughter that lives near where they will lay her to rest says she can't come to the funeral unless Jim sends her money. That seems to be all that they all want, and it's so hurtful to Jim. Roger wants to punch out her son, but out of respect he won't of course, but why does it have to be this way?
I'll never forget everyone at Lynn's arrangements talking about what they wanted and how hurt they were that he took his own life. They had no idea the pain he was in and didn't want to feel for him, just themselves. I, being only the wife, really didn't get any respect in that I might know what was best for him or such. The only say it seemed I had was in his coffin. I remember telling the director that I just didn't want him to be in an old pine box. I was too poor to have much say, but he didn't put him in an 'old pine box' - it was a new pine box covered in grey felt?!? :( I still hate that. He was a veteran and deserved far more!
But anyway, I also have to help with the clothing and I wished I knew her better - all I can do it seems is write stuff down and help with the shoulder. I can feel his pain and hope that I can be strong for him - he needs that now.
So, that's that - the sun was shining so bright and warm today - seemed like it all was so out of place? My old friend is back, the pungent taste of grief and pain... strong in my memories

Here's one of those 'warm up' projects I was talking about; before I cut something really important I always work on a piece that I can practice my cornering and quick turns... Sometimes I just end up with "Designer Firewood", but I'd like to say that this is a useful piece! =D

Thanks for "stopping by the shop!"
Freida

I hope Kay will be happy tomorrow when I finally deliver her Dolphin's Helmet! I know I'm glad it's done and I think it turned out much better than my previous helmets =D As it's supposed to be; everything gets better with experience! ;)
Feeling satified doesn't come until she gets it and is happy though, so tomorrow will be a good day I hope :)
Hope everyone is doing well - don't forget to comment on the blog so that you will be entered to win a beautiful and exclusively collectible wooden ornament, designed by Volker Arnold!! Click here to read about the amazing sale, going on now, at my shop! :)

Thanks for "stopping by the shop!"
Freida

Do you ever feel that you're in some sort of dream that you can't wake up from? It's been like that all of my life and I can't help but feel even more dazed and confused as I watch the scenes from snippets of dark movies flash blurringly all around me.
Day before yesterday I ran into my friend's daughter at Walgreen's. After a few moments of catch-up she asked if Roger had told me about her mom. I said he hadn't mentioned anything and she hesitated for a moment before revealing that Denita was in the ICU and wasn't expected to live through the holidays.
I couldn't help the tears as she related how her condition had so rapidly advanced and she was now a mere 56lbs and delirious.
Denita's been sick for quite a few years - nearly ever since I've known her. A type of leukemia that she seemed to have in control. We had talked a few times about what might happen and the time frame involved, but it just never dawned on me that she could go so quickly, and without so much as a whimper. I saw her last in Walmart, so skinny, toting an oxygen machine and driving around in a motorized cart. She didn't look good, but she was saying that they just didn't have her meds right... I always take for granted, I guess, that my friends and family will be around forever and don't pay attention the way I should. But she was busy, being with her daughter, whom she'd had so much trouble with. It was nice to see them together and that is what I was focused on. She really didn't seem to 'need' me like before and I felt that as soon as the drs got everything 'straightened out' she'd be her same old self... too late, always :(
I'm hoping that I will get caught up on orders and get to go see her in the next couple of days. Surely I have some time still?
I think they're all getting a little tired of my sadness and the 'impending doom' look I have when I see them. Kay is so sweet, but I know when I talk to her that she gets annoyed at my tears - of course she'd rather have some quality time with her friend than this!
I'll be seeing her tomorrow, but she has to wear a mask and such so that if I have any germs she won't pass from the exposure I could subject her to. I'll probably stand on the porch and talk to her through the screen door. Another reminder that life is WAY too short! :(
And now, Jim is waiting for Mary's kids to arrive to say goodbye, before they let her go. She hasn't regained consciousness and the doctor said today that half of her heart has died. He's beside himself in grief, but is trying desperately to put on a strong face for everyone. I have such a hard time trying to figure out how this could've happened. I know we're not supposed to question the wisdom of God, but I really don't feel this is something of a benevolent God's doing!
So I asked Ryan tonight why everyone around me is going away? I don't know if it's that I'm older and therefore everyone else is older, and that's what you inevitably go through with an older circle of friends.
I'm not sure what is going on, but I really don't like it - not one bit!!

It's fun being tagged! :) I know a lot of bloggers say it's a hassle, but it makes me feel kinda special! :)
Wonderfully talented Ms. Pam of The Magic Sleigh tagged me this morning, so I shall do my best to fulfill the 7 "About Me" items;

1. If you split open my skull, you would not be able to find my brain for all of the clutter.
2. I forget what I'm saying in mid-sentence.
3. I put things in 'special places' so I won't lose them and then forget where that is! (Someday I'm gonna find a heck of a lot of things I've been missing!!)
   
4. My hair is naturally red, but I'm turning into a candy cane; red and white stripes
5. I have always hated my name - until my mother told me it was in honor of her baby sister who died as an infant - I'm learning to accept it now...
6. I just wrote a book about my fellow Intarsia artists but didn't think my work was good enough to be included.
7. I want to decorate the world with wood! (As nature had intended, of course!)

I hope that my chosen 7 will accept this assignment in the spirit in which it was given - you're only on my list because I truly want to know more about you - not because I need to tag someone =D
Of course, if you're understandably too busy, pass it on - I'm good with that...

1. http://frankinthemind.blogspot.com/
2. http://doxallodesigns.blogspot.com/
3. http://binasblog-sabina.blogspot.com/
4. http://tammys-treasure-chest.blogspot.com/
5. http://smilemoonwoodworks.blogspot.com/
6. http://shellyrodriguez.blogspot.com/
7. http://akacontrariwise.blogspot.com/
   

Here is how it works, for those of you unfamiliar with the game:
1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

That being said and done - Pam of The Magic Sleigh is amazingly talented and incredibly kind :) She's making an ornament of my mom's doggy and has bent over backwards, sideways, and every which way to make sure I'm going to be very happy with the piece! I can't wait to get it and see my mom's expression - it's going to be... priceless! ;)
Will post photos as soon as I get them - you should really check out her shop; she creates custom critters in porcelain and I can't tell you how impressed I am by her work! Only $20 for a CUSTOM PORCELAIN PET!!?! I had to double-take on that one! She loves what she does and is truly a kindred spirit on pricing - obviously she too, just wants to make sure everyone has the opportunity to own one of her designs!

Thanks, as always, for "stopping by the shop!"
Freida