Deer Mountain Wood Art

Pretty much all of my friends locally, that is, know what's going on with me so I haven't worried too much about things like this. While I'm trying to get back on my feet I've received many notices such as Project Wonderful's robot warning.
I hate being sick - but this time it's been worse on my psyche more than my body. While I'm in constant pain, I manage, kind of. But the fact that it's affecting my behavior so much is disabling. I can't write anyone back, follow through on anything, I've totally left the dishes to everyone else. I reached out a couple of weeks ago to tell my friends from my book project that I was sick but hoping to get back to 'normal' soon and continue on with the book, but I've been unable to answer any of their emails :( I'm very frustrated and depressed, but still I remain optimistic.
Since I had an attack of sciatica in January, which still continues with my left foot slowly going numb from my arch up my leg, I've been on several answer-seeking journeys to the doctors. Finally last month I was told I have MS. Now, like I've said, I'm not sure right now what that means for me, I have a doctor appointment the 30th of June and hopefully will get better answers. In the meantime, here I remain.
My second oldest son is graduating from HS this morning and I'm not ready - totally depressed(feels like an elephant's on my chest), and don't want to endure the pain of having to take a shower.... sigh
It will get better, I'm sure it will. But I haven't written in so long - think about it often - but just haven't been able to. Getting this second notice from Project Wonderful prompted me I guess into finally writing and letting everyone know what's going on.
To all of the faithful followers and supporters of this blog, I treasure you and hope that you'll stick it out with me - I know it's gotta get better! But I will do my best to get to the writing as I'm able.
You're very important to me - we may be strangers for the most part, but gosh you've been through so much with me! and I consider you all friends.
I will be back soon - thanks for being there :)
Freida

I have been trying hard today to get it together - just haven't felt like much of anything at all! I even went out and planed a board for a project thinking maybe I just needed to get something going and I'd be alright. {sigh} Nothing's working - I know I'm getting LittleMan's strep - when I was in my teens I came down with it every 6 months like clockwork and I don't take being sick well - for me, it's a weakness that I can't allow myself :( Besides that, what mother is truly every allowed to get sick!?!? Laying in bed all day, getting waited on!?! hah! like that would happen!!lol


ANYWAY, I just heard from a friend of ours and I had to relay my happiness and a story of true love - the kind you don't see anymore.

My hubby works for a man named Jim. His wife, MaryLou, is a stoic, and stern woman of Native American descent, whom I've never had the courage to try and get to know. I have waved at her here and there, but never 'officially' met her.

I made her a NFL Steeler's Helmet a while back as Jim said that was her favorite team, and he gave it to her as a present from me - and even though she said she didn't know what she's "...going to do with that...", Jim said he's caught her on occasion "petting" it (everything I make is extremely silky to touch - my trademark of sorts) along with other things I've made them - lots of eagles! - but will put it down the minute he comes into the room!lol I think that's cute :) It was great that Jim told me this, as I worry unless I know the recipient likes what I've made them!lol

But anyway, she had a stroke many years ago that's left her unable to smile really, or talk clearly, or be out of a wheelchair and my husband is often called to look in on her. Every time they are out working on a job somewhere, Jim calls Mary 20 times or more a day to check on her - or takes her with him if he's going to be gone long. Every once in a while she'll knock the phone off the receiver or fall out of her chair and he freaks out until he can get home to see if she's okay. I couldn't understand their relationship though, as my hubby will tell me, " She wanted a big screen t.v. and Jim went and bought her a 70" t.v. and she doesn't like it" or before she'd had her stroke, things like, "He bought her this really fancy car that cost an arm and a leg and she hated it - it's sat in the garage ever since"... things like that. So maybe you can see why I am in awe of this relationship - Jim is one of those guys that you just don't find anywhere - and she's supposedly cheated on him and everything else during their many years together(according to her son) and treats him like crap. There's got to be more to it than that though, I tell myself. There's nobody that good - that loving - that unselfish...! I don't know if I'll ever know for sure?
Anyway, the other month she had another stroke. She's been in and out of surgery, in and out of a coma, on death's door for over a month and a half. Jim's been there, every minute, by her side - grieving and crying over her. I don't think he's even eaten more than a sandwich a week. He and Roger went to work one day and they made it half a day and then Jim was off, driving the 40+ miles to be by her side. He almost went crazy trying to get out of that job! I've talked to him on several occasions during this and am just floored by the fact that if something happens to her, he's gone - there's no doubt in my mind! So I pray for her, for him. They let him go into ICU for 20 minutes of every hour, and he's not missed one except the day he tried to work. The doctors have told him to go home, "she doesn't know you're here" and I'm sure he is exhausted! But he stays. Today, he made me cry.

He says he went in her room and went towards the bed to be by her and she reached up and grabbed his shirt, pulled him down and hugged him, patted his back and said, "maybe just 5 more minutes..." He called crying, she's not spoke this whole time - she even had to have a trac put in last week cuz she couldn't breath. But she still managed to speak to him through all of this today and I'm beside myself in joy. I don't even know the woman, but I am sitting here bawling like a baby on the phone with him!?! I love this man and what he is to her - it's so uplifting in such a dismal world! Even today I heard that two people I never thought would be apart after over 25 years are going their separate ways! I hate divorce, it's too easy! I'm with a man 20 years my senior, who doesn't offer me much - but we are together, and we have a miracle of a child - God wants us to be together - I don't know why, but He does! I've thought many times of escape over the years - regret filling every pore of my being, but I toughed it out and will until 'death do us part' - Divorce should NOT be easy!! We are friends now, but if I had let my emotions rule me then I would have missed out on a lot! Be patient with each other, be kind. Life's too short! I'm hoping that Mary truly will be 'on the mend' but I can't help thinking that the old adage, "a bulb burns brightest before it goes out" and how this might apply to Mary. She's in such bad shape, but I will never try to out-guess what God might have in store for any of us and she just might pull through it!?
Do you have what it takes to be this loving, faithful, and devoted - do I? I don't know, but I think I have met someone who does!
{{{hugs}}}
Freida


Thanks for "stopping by the shop!"